Slow Sex the Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm Book Review
The first time I heard the word tumescence was when I was watching a remake of Robin Hood with Russell Crowe when he uttered these words..."I woke upward this morning with a tumescent glow." It sounded sexy, only I let it become. I heard it once again recently when meeting with other sex educators while discussing the fabled new book "Slow Sex" by Nicole Daedone.
And it really got me thinking, - so I looked it up and the literal definition of tumescence is all nearly sexual engorgement. We are literally talking erectile tissues filling with blood - such as the penis and the clitoris.
But I recollect I am with the Robin Hood character in thinking that tumescence is something more an anatomical occurrence. Even the bookish journals hovers effectually the word tumescence. Accept for case this quote from Studies in the Psychology of Sexual activity, Volume 3 Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Dear and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women:
"Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby both the male and the female are brought into that country of sexual tumescence which is a more or less necessary status for sexual intercourse."
The slang for tumescence may be to "feel horny" or to be in sexual desire. The opposite of the glow of tumescence is a low libido. But what if we could really go far bear on with the feelings of tumescence as a real state of being that has importance in the life of a sexual existence instead of dismissing it with slang terms or worse blocking it out - and it'south release through orgasm? What happens when we are not in bear upon with the natural feelings of tumescence that occur in many people throughout their lives - and just work to close it down or shut information technology off?
In the article "Determinants of Sexual Arousal and the Accuracy of information technology's Self-Estimation" , it is reported what I already know about women from my own life and from my sexuality coaching practice:
"Women have found high levels of discrepancy between subjective and genital arousal in samples with and without sexual dysfunction (Geer,Morokoff, & Greenwood, 1974; Heiman, 1977, 1980; Morokoff & Heiman, 1980; Palace & Gorzalka, 1990;Wincze, Hoon, & Hoon, 1977). Laan and Everaerd (1995) also as Korff and Geer (1983) suggested that compared to men, women in general may rely less on physiological cues to guess their sexual arousal, and that this fact might explain why the discordance betwixt subjective and physiological arousal is greater among women. Moreover, similar to men, women with sexual dysfunction tend to nowadays lower levels of concordance betwixt subjective and objective measures of sexual arousal compared to women without sexual issues (Morokoff & Heiman,1980; Palace & Gorzalka, 1992). Morokoff and Heiman (1980) showed that despite the lack of significant differences in physiological sexual arousal responses to erotic materials in women with and without sexual dysfunction, those with sexual dysfunction rated their subjective sexual arousal equally significantly lower."
In other words, women often do not literally experience on a physical level - our own arousal or tumescence! Instead we tend to rely on our emotions, or social and religious clue to inform our minds of what our bodies are feeling. This disconnection from what our bodies are feelings from our consciousness throw many women into a place of sexual confusion, anger, low sexual desire and a full general feeling of feet.
Peradventure that is why I love the book "Slow Sexual activity: The Art of Craft of Female Orgasm" so much. Inside it'south pages, author Nicole Daedone asks women (and men) to participate in a technique that she calls OM (orgasmic meditation). Oming is in an odd way familiar to me - every bit it is a "one way touch" technique that I stumbled over in my own style in "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Institute True Pleasance and Somehow Got Habitation in Time to Cook Dinner" (Rodale).
In Shameless, I discovered apotheosis practices (in my ain out of the box way), and that is just what orgasmic meditation (Oming) is about.
In the OM practiced and introduced in Daedone'due south book, women are asked simply to melody into pleasance sensations supplied to their clitoris past a second person "stroking" them. They are asked simply to feel and connect to their genitals, pleasure and orgasm and almost chiefly, not to attach emotion to the sensations. A wild parlor trick for women use to approaching sexuality not from a place of sensation just from a identify of consciousness. It is a "practice" for many women to be able to practise this. This are also asked ot separate the concept of orgasm from climax, a concept that I believe deeply in and call "Organic Orgasm".
I love this book and what it has to say about approaching pleasure for women. I beloved the boundaries of OMing, the call to attention, and the letting go of emotional linguistic communication for women when it comes to getting in touch with physical pleasance.
Women are walking effectually disconnected to their genitals. Most of us have no name we are comfortable with to name them, and according to way too many studies nosotros tin't fifty-fifty experience our ain arousal. Instead we wait to food, or shopping, feel anxiety and embrace high drama in our lives to feel something - when perchance all we have to feel is our own tumescence!
If you are in a adult female, or in love with one - delight read Slow Sex. It will bring a brand new perspective to your understanding of sexual pleasance and the "art and craft of female orgasm".
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shameless-woman/201107/slow-sex-the-art-and-craft-female-orgasm
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